True confession time: Want to know what I do when I am procrastinating? I clean. No, not the ordinary cleaning to keep my husband from complaining about cat hair balls on the living room carpet, nor the necessary cleaning so the Health Department won’t shut down our bathroom. Not even the annual cleaning—okay, semi-annual—cleaning out my closet.
When I am procrastinating, I clean my desk. If I am really desperate to avoid some project, I add the bookshelves in the closet next to my desk to my cleaning list.
Last year, I changed my nursing work schedule so that I have every Monday off as a “writing day.” I like to write and I always have three or four projects to work on, so why do I find myself procrastinating today? What is the problem driving me to dust behind the computer monitor?
Focus. It’s got to be focus. I’m having trouble with my focus. No, that’s not it. Motivation. I’m lacking motivation today. I wasted a Monday yesterday and unexpectedly, have today for writing. So, why am I not getting down to work? Motivation isn’t the problem.
It’s the balls. Specifically, all of the balls I juggle everyday as a wife, mother, grandmother, nurse, writer, photographer, mission leader, sister, friend and woman. Normally, these roles all flow together seamlessly as I cruise through life at warp speed. So, why am I hitting a speed bump today? Aren’t women wired to manage simultaneously multiple roles and responsibilities without batting an eye? We couldn’t raise children without being able answer the phone, stir the soup and step between a toddler and the cat he’s chasing all in one smooth, effortless motion. My husband cannot fathom how I can plug in the I-pod earbuds and read a book while I’m on the treadmill at the gym.
Are there times in our lives when we need to shut off speed control and focus? If God speaks to us in still, small whispers, do we need to take a time-out and listen?
A Time-out. Works for kids. “Go to your room and think about what you have done.” I’m smiling inside. I love my room. It’s neat-messy. On my desk are colorful paperclips, raspberry scrap paper and neon push pins. The bulletin boards are covered with stuff I couldn’t figure out where else to store. There’s a pen holder my granddaughters made with their pictures wrapped around it. The computer monitor displays my photos on the desktop. A handful of books sit within reach. There are three stacks of papers on the desk—two for current projects and one of to-be-filed papers. My clock actually ticks and the sound keeps the room from getting too quiet.
Thinking isn’t something I have a lot of time for. Certainly not something I’d waste time on. It’s my punishment today. But hey, thinking about what I have done is a wonderfully-affirming exercise. I have raised 5 children solo, single-handedly and proudly. And, they’ve given me 9+ wonderful grandchildren. I have five published books and have recently begun selling photographs. Last month, I made 93 cents from a new website. (in 150 years, I’ll be able to retire on that income!) I take on new projects fairly easily and love a challenge. But I’m also more of an idea person than a do-it worker-bee. I’m a list-maker. I’m a procrastinator.
